


Hold my hand, don't let go

by mbbninsprit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Not Beta Read, Slice of Life, Slight OOC, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25186741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mbbninsprit/pseuds/mbbninsprit
Summary: It's been months since you last saw him.2 whole years where your life was devoid of cheeky laughter and smug grins and gentle touches that leaves you longing for more....
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	Hold my hand, don't let go

**Author's Note:**

> Based on prompts  
> "My mom asked me about you again"  
> "Don't leave me. Don't you dare leave me."

It's been months since you last saw him. Sometimes you refuse to think of the time passing, but if you're being honest to yourself, it has been nearly 2 years since you last saw Oikawa Tohru. 2 whole years where your life was devoid of cheeky laughter and smug grins and gentle touches that leaves you longing for more.

You had left him then, two years ago. He'd told you about his dreams, about his goals. Argentina. That's where he wanted to be. That's where he ought to be too, you thought. Even so, he was here in Japan where he shouldn't be, because of you. Because he's with you and he's not leaving when he should because he doesn't want to leave you. So you thought to yourself that this isn't it. He shouldn't withhold his dreams because of you, for you. He should be living his life the way he deserves and you're just slowing him down. That was your deciding point.

You picked up your things, minor belongings you've left at his place. A stray hoodie, your notebook of doodles, the mug your best friend got for your birthday; told him it's goodbye and walked out the door. That was the last you saw of him. Later, you heard from a friend that Tohru had taken a Leave of Absence from school and left for Brazil. You refused to look back after that moment, two hearts were broken by your hands but you knew it was for the best. As the days pass by you tell yourself that it's fine, that you're fine and everything is going to be ok because you're moving on. You're not hurt anymore and you're starting to breathe easier.

Yet, as you stood frozen by the street with an all too familiar face opposite you, you knew that all you've done was lie to yourself. With the autumn wind that brushed past you, it brought him closer to you. You could see his eyes now. They were once your favourite thing about him. Bright eyes that most often held confidence and mischief but were analytical and understanding. Although under those layers there was also pain and fear, and you made it a promise not to let those surface. Looking back into those eyes now, they had a mature look to them. Dimmed by the goings of life, yet still determined and strong. You could see the shock in his eyes, and underneath that, longing. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on your part. Before you could get a word out, he beat you to it.

"Never thought I would be seeing you again, huh.." you could feel your heart thudding in your chest at his voice. You've missed it and it was good to hear it again.

"Tohru-kun..I-"  
"Are you free?" He cut you off. "I was heading to the coffeshop 'round the corner. We can catch up and have lunch. Or maybe just a cup, if you're free," he was hopeful. You could see it in his face. He was scared too, probably of your rejection. You didn't think you could though, even if you wanted to. Seeing him again felt like getting sunshine after days of downpour.

"I...yeah, I'm...I'm free," you agreed to his request and was rewarded with a small smile.

Not a moment later, finds the two of you seated in a small secluded booth with steaming cups for company. The silence was tense, but not unwelcoming. You've never felt that uncomfortable silence when with Tohru and you're glad to note that even after everything, that stayed the same. Nonetheless, you took it upon yourself to break the tense atmosphere.

"So how was Brazil?" you enquired. You were genuinely curious about his travels. It being the main reason you're in this situation, you were glad that he has taken the first steps to fulfill his dreams.

"Brazil was wonderful," there was awe in his voice, you could tell. "The people, the culture, everything was so different compared to Japan. I even managed to bump into a familiar face there surprisingly." He paused as if to reminisce and you couldn't look away with how he's glowing as he spoke. You knew then that no matter how much it broke you to have left him, you would do it a thousand times over if this was the outcome.

"And I also learnt a lot more about volleyball there. Had a few friendly matches, definitely helped with my skills.."he trailed off at the end, as if unsure how to continue. "How have you been?"he asked instead, leaning against the table ever so slightly. You broke away from the eye contact, hands fiddling with your cooling mug.

"My mom asked about you again...just yesterday actually..." you never did managed to tell her that you have broken up but you had a feeling that she knew. Just like how you didn't have to tell her about your relationship yet she was aware that it happened. So sporadically, your mom would ask how Tohru's been or if you've heard anything from him because before the whole relationship thing, you both were friends first. Your answers to her were always vague. You didn't want to lie to her, and you didn't know how to tell her the truth without bursting to tears. She accepted your answers the way they are and that's that.

Tohru looked surprised at my answer. "Oh...is aunty well, then? I miss her cooking, especially while I was in Brazil. I had a craving for her yakisoba while I was there but I had to settle for spaghetti,"he gave a light chuckle before continuing, "what about uncle? I hope he's doing well too. His blood pressure is not giving him trouble, right? He's always forgetting to take his medication on time"

You weren't sure what brought it on. Maybe it was the way he spoke of your parents with such familiarity or how he's still so concerned about them when he doesn't need to be. But something in you snapped and tears filled your eyes before you could stop it. You didn't want Tohru to see you cry. You didn't want him to see how broken you are. Doing your best to hold your tears, your hurriedly gathered your things as you stuttered out an excuse, "I-I'm sorry but I gotta go. I need to-" you made to stand up but Tohru was faster. He held onto your arm, preventing you from leaving. "Don't leave," he whispered. It was desperate. He rounded the table and pulled you into his arms. "Dont leave me. Dont you dare leave me. Not again..I can't lose you again," his arms around you tightened, like he was afraid you would disappear if he didn't hold on tight enough. You could feel him tremble against you and that was the final straw. You couldnt continue lying to yourself anymore. You've missed him, and you still love him and you haven't moved on from that fateful day 2 years ago. You brought your arms around him in return as the tears made their race down your cheeks. "I'm sorry..I'm so sorry. I love you, so much and I couldn't, I couldn't bear not seeing you achieve your dreams. I couldn't bear to be the one holding you down," you muffled your confession into his jacket, feeling as your heart squeezed at the thought of his grand dreams. Tohru deserves so much more than he gets.

He lets go of you only to bring his hands up to your face. His cheeks were wet too, you noted and it hurts you to know that you were the cause of his pain. Tohru wiped that tears trailing from your eyes, and it's with that same gentle touch he used to give. "What would my dreams be if you are not with me to see it, though? You are the one who gives me the strength to achieve them, you're the one who gives me the courage I need." He took one hand down to mine, giving it a squeeze before continuing, "promise me now that you won't let go again. Let me hold your hands, until I reach Brazil, until I reach Argentina. With you by my side, where I'll show you how I achieve my dreams." You gave him a watery smile and tearful nod in reply, too overwhelmed by your emotions. "I promise."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this short piece. I'm trying to see if I have a knack for writing again or not, so comments and feedback are much much appreciated thank you!!


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